It's for the birds!!

At least, that's what we have to keep telling the squirrels around our place. I have two well-placed bird feeders outside our living room window in hopes of attracting some of these:

 And these:

And lots of these:

 

And maybe a few of these:

 

But NOT these:

Don't misunderstand. I love squirrels. Especially this one. His name is Psycho Psquirrel and he has been our "not quite" pet squirrel for almost three years. We suspect that he used to live with humans because he is quite bold, even to the point of sitting in my bedroom windowsill and "visiting" with our Yorkie nose to nose through the glass! We recognize him by his rather thin tail--which is a big improvement from the almost non-existent tail he sported when he first adopted us. He was in very poor health, didn't seem to know how to store for the winter, forage, or build a nest. (During rainstorms he hangs out under the eaves of our house or in the windowsill.) Happily, he looked better the second year and seems to be in perfect health this year. So while I don't mind sharing my yard with Psycho, or providing him proper squirrel provisions, I do not want him emptying out my bird feeder each day:

And that is exactly what he does: Tips the feeder over and then goes below to pick out the sunflower seeds:

So before I go broke from buying bird feed, I came up with a plan sneakier and more efficient than Psycho:

 

Yes, those are nails. And, yes, I agree. It looks rather cruel. But as I assured the kids, Psycho is no dummy. He would not take a blind leap and impale himself. (Actually, I wasn't 100% sure on that, but was prepared to take the fallout if it happened.) Thankfully, I was right. Psycho knew immediately that something was up:


 

But plays it cool and bravely comes closer.

Hey now!! At this point I'm a little surprised and the girls are beginning to doubt my confidence in Psycho's intellect. Is he willing to bleed for a few seeds?

 

How is he doing that? Just where is that third nail in relation to Psycho's anatomy? He doesn't appear to be in pain.

Nope. After watching him repeat this maneuver several times and at both of my "armed" feeders, it becomes clear my tactic was a colossal failure. After observing his uninterrupted feeding habits for several days, we have concluded that the nails actually aid him in hanging on!!  You're welcome, Psycho!!!

Plan B anyone????